Lurkers

I hate lurkers. You know the people I’m talking about. Usually sad old lonelies that treasure every ounce of communication they can get with the pharmacy clerk. Lurkers are people that spend way too much time performing a task that should be completed in a matter of seconds. Lurkers spend too much time in the passing lane, too much time at the checkout counter, and too much time making any decision in general. A typical lurker sets up camp immediately upon arriving at the front of the line. This ceremony can involve reading glasses, check books, open purses, coupons, talking with friends to help with the life and death decisions at Mcdonald’s, distracting children, and sometimes and overall misunderstanding of the English language. Lurkers are easy to spot. Next time you are in a line, glance around and study the other sheeples. The lurkers are the people that are making no attempt whatsoever at making a decision. Lurkers will be testing, talking on the phone, or just standing there with an empty look on their faces. When their turn comes up, it’s like you surprise them by asking them what they’d like to order. They always look taken aback…like they had no idea why they were even in the line in the first place. I hate people.