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Monday, April 2, 2012
The next cool
I'm sick of the word cool. It's time I invented the next cool. We all know that once our parents start using words in their proper context, it's time to move on. The first time I hear my parents use the word cool, I cringed and the word was forever marred. Throughout history, the young have used words that were outside the comprehension of the elderly to describe things they like. Words like Groovy, Hip, Fresh, Rad, Happenin, Solid, Etc...These words have all run their course and been laid to rest in the graveyard of words our parents have made completely irrelevant. Cool has been playing out way past its shelf life. Cool seems unwilling to die. Parents all over the nation are molesting this word, beating it mercilessly in the groin, stabbing it repeatedly in the face....and yet....it continues to limp along. I give cool some respect for hanging in there, but someone must be willing to deal cool the final death blow. I am willing to accept that challenging. I will step up to cool, place my sawed off 12 gauge up to its temple, and blast it's outdated brains all over the metaphorical wall. Let me also say that cool makes zero sense in the context it's used. In fact, that's that basis for the genius word I have come up with. Think about a word that literally makes no sense in describing a favorable situation. This guarantees that parents and the elderly will be so confused, unwilling, and unsure of how to use this word that it will last for at least a decade. Once old people hear this new word enough times, once they finally feel comfortable enough to throw it out there, dip their toes in the water, and awkwardly use this descriptor in its proper context, it's time to move on. Sooo....on to the genius that will flow from what will undoubtedly be validated as one of the world’s greatest minds....what will young people use to describe favorable scenarios for the next decade? The next cool will be: loud.....think about it....