Thanks for being so proactive in responding to my blog assholes. It seems
no one wants free money? Anyways, basically my life revolves around one single
premise: Drink as much alcohol as humanly possible and suffer no ill
consequences. Let me explain. Supplements: I own bed time teas, melatonin, theonine,
coffee cruda, arsenic, and holy basil for that inevitable date when I stop
drinking. I own liver cleanse supplements, milk thistle, and liver detox tea to
combat the effects of alcohol. I also drink massive amounts of coffee because I
read a study that indicated coffee helps to combat alcohol induced liver cirrhosis.
I purchased a breathalyzer to make sure I am not too drunk to drive to work
every morning. I also make sure I start drinking by 6pm every night; otherwise
I would get a DUI on my way to work every morning. I continually lie to my
wife, using such excuses as: I just fell asleep on the couch, I went to watch a
movie, I went to an AA meeting, I thought it was too late to call you, I forgot
to text you, I am going to the gym, I left my phone in the car, my cell battery
died, etc...etc...etc... I own clothes that are wrinkle free so that I don't
have to do laundry. I buy aunt traps to combat my filthy living situation that
I don't clean due to being hammered every night. I always make sure there is
some sort of liquid available to drink in mass quantities due to the
dehydration I wake up with every morning. I have multiple fans to deal with the
increase in temperature I feel when I am consuming alcohol. I have a therapist
to help me quit drinking. I own a supplement call Kudzu to help curve alcohol
related cravings. My refrigerator is covered with pictures bodily organs
damaged by alcohol. I own audiobooks that try to and help you quit alcohol and
I have even listened to the hypnosis portions of those audiobooks. I have numerous
"hobbies" lined up for that magical day when I quit drinking that
include: Photography, adult dodgeball, exercise, drawing, song writing, golf, Nintendo
Wii, guitar, open mic nights, ping pong, metal detecting, tennis,
etc..etc..etc...I watch my daily calorie consumption to make sure I don't gain
massive amounts of weight (even though I have). Any rational person would look
at my life and think I was a total idiot. That the stress and mental effort it
takes to continue drinking is ridiculous. But this is what my life boils down
too. That high, that escape, that release of endorphins....those nights when I
have not a care in the world.....this is the reality I would rather live in.
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