Dickhead Neighbors

I am sure you are assuming that in order to do something that irritates your neighbor; you must have done something assholish. Incorrect. Some people are just serious pricks. You might be one loud TV show away from inciting a furry of unbelievable lunacy and not even know it. Let me explain my situation. So I have a dog. And no, his barking wasn't an issue. I lived in Alaska at the time and as you can imagine, it gets freaking cold there. So I would let my dog out to take a dump and then scurry back indoors (no fence) before my teets froze off. Well, unbeknownst to me, there was a demon stirring deep inside the belly of my neighbor (not even my duplex neighbor, the guy was one house down) that would soon bloom and display all its beautiful crazy. You see, I would wait A FEW DAYS to pick up the poop. Being winter in Alaska and all. Well, this would lead to 4 or so turds accumulating before I bundled up enough to venture outdoors. Trust me, I wasn't the guy whose grass had dissapeared under a layer of fecel matter. I've seen that guy. I wasn't him. Well, this pause in poop collection irritated my neighbor to no end. So did he come and ask me respectfully to be more proactive in my turd collection? Nope. He CC'd me on an actual letter (I had never seen that done in my life) to the home owners association reporting me and actually citing the bi-law about picking up dog crap. Never once asked me to do anything about it. Big mistake. Amongst being awesome, I have a pranking super power. Let me hit a couple highlights for you. I poured 4 bottles of moose lure all over his back yard and when he didn't pick up the moose poop, I reported him to the HOA (with pictures). I purchased a nifty product called "liquid ass". This is literally the foulest smelling substance on earth. I filled up a squirt gun and sprayed 2 bottles into his garages air vent. He actually called the plumber to come investigate. I could go on...and if you want to hear more I will post it...but for now, just don't piss me off.