Get $50 for almost zero effort. Seriously.

In an effort to promote my blog, I am giving away four $50 MasterCard gift certificates. All you have to do is respond to one of my posts. Once I have received a total of 50 posts, all from different people (and not from autobots), I will randomly select 4 of those people to send the gift cards to. That puts your odds of winning at 8%. Your odds of winning $50 on a $5 scratch off lottery ticket? .31%. I am doing this because my blog is the best ever. So post something awe inspiring.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Losing weight

I think by the time I am done blogging; I will have solved most of the world’s problems. I am simply amazed by the number of diets available to the average American today. Atkins, Hollywood cookie diet (seriously), Jenny Craig, weight watchers, lemon juice fast, refined cow urine, leather belt diet, and a zillion others. Like losing weight is so magical and impossible that the ordinary human being couldn't possibly figure it out on their own. It seems that the only way the average dumbass American can lose weight, is to pay someone a shitload of money to monitor all their meals, give them shots of HCG in the ass, or have a personal trainer. The easiest way to lose weight is simply to restrict calorie intake. The problem is that most Americans don't have the will power to do this. With .99 cent double cheeseburgers on every corner, we are too weak willed to continually maintain a lifestyle of calorie reduction. Look at it this way, if you walk 1 mile, you burn 100 calories. If you eat a McDonald’s cheeseburger you shove 300 calories into your pie hole. The equivalent of a 3 mile walk. This isn't rocket science. What do you think is easier to fit into your lifestyle, not eating a big mac, or walking the 5 miles to burn it off? Now you do have a certain amount of calories needed just to live and breathe. This is called your basal metabolism. This is the 2000 calories we always hear about. If you ate your exact BMR every day, you'd maintain your current weight indefinitely. But by dropping your daily calorie 500 calories a day below your BMR, your body is then forced to rip into your stored fat to get the energy it needs to keep you alive. And I hate the stupid freaking "protection mode" idiots who say your metabolism slows down and your lose less weight when your cut calories. Bull freaking shit. So you are breathing less? Does your heart beat less? Are your cells multiplying less? No dumbass, you still need energy just to survive. So by figuring out your BMR and cutting 500 calories off that number in a year, how much weight would you lose in 1 year? 60 pounds. If you needed to lose that much. Oh, and stop drinking alcohol. Alcohol calories can't be stored in the body as fat and must be used immediately as they are ingested. This causes everything else you ate that day to be stored as fat while your body is processing all the booze. I think the obesity crisis in America is caused both people who want to lose weight and are clueless (the fat guy at the gym doing endless sit-ups to get that "six-pack") and people who are generally complacent and could give a shit how fat they are. I fall somewhere in the 10% that is informed and proactive. While I am not at my ideal weight, I hope to be in the next few months.

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