Battling Addiction by Blogging

I'm an idiot. I am a freaking moron. I have everything I could ever need or want in the world. An amazing high paying job, a beautiful and incredible wife, the worlds coolest dog, you name it...I am a lucky bastard. So....why with all this, do I decide to drink myself into oblivion every chance I get? Can there really be any valid justification to damaging your body like this? I sometimes tell myself....I'm just bored, or I a read study that coffee combats the effects of cirrhosis....What a douchebag. Like drinking massive amounts of coffee could possibly reverse that much consumption of poison. I also use justifications like: It helps pass the time or that I must have some subconscious fear I am trying to subdue. It's all bullshit. My liver enzymes were off the chart and if I don't stop drinking, I risk doing serious, permanent damage to my body. Does this stop captain douchebag from drinking? Hell no...I'm 32 years old and I am guessing that if I keep this up, I'll be dead by 40. Sometimes I tell my self...maybe doing whatever the hell I want for 40 years is better than torturing myself with running (invented by Satan himself) and eating vegan smoothies and getting hit by a blimp at 37. These of course are all jackass thoughts and the bottom line is that I need to stop drinking. I think deep down, I really want too, but then for some reason I keep buying the shit. Oh...another good one I tell myself, is that I'll keep a bottle around in case I get alcohol withdrawal symptoms...That "emergency" bottle has never lasted more that a few days. So here I am, captain moron, ruining my body for no apparent reason. Oh, here's another good one, I am actually thinking about smoking cigars as a supplement to drinking. Nice thought asshole. The only thing this will accomplish is destroying brand new body parts not affected by alcohol. Genius. I am guessing by the time it effects my career and marriage, it'll be too late and I'll either need a serious medically supervised detox or my liver will be nothing more that a piece of charcoal. Anywho...I'm hoping people read my inane rantings (not always about booze) and respond in kind. If I can make one person crack a smile, or one person helps me overcome addiction, or whatever....then this would have served a purpose....peace out